Combining CBT & Mindfulness

Mindfulness is paying attention specifically on the present moment and in an open, non critical way, non judgemental way. Non critical in this context means: without all of our judgements, negative thoughts, habitual reactions which have become automatic and so on. Another important point would be — in a purposeful way. If we are clear with what we want, we can be clear about what is important in the now.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can show us really clearly how we have learnt to think, feel and behave. These thinking and automatic behavioural patterns, beliefs etc., have been formed from past experiences, but we act them out in the now. Mindfulness can help us to see them and then make changes — how, because we need to see them and understand them first, then we can be clear what we want to do differently. So when we meditate, or do mindfulness, we can see them and understand them better, more clearer. When we learn to just watch them, then we don`t get hooked into them.

When we become more mindful, we consciously become more aware of ourselves and what is happening around us. We can become more accepting of our own habitual patterns and start to make changes. We can also become more aware of other people habitual patterns and then not get drawn into their patters and dramas. These patterns can sometimes work against us, and, often not get us what we want! So focusing on this can help you to get what you want.

CBT allows us to understand ourselves better, why we are the way we are, why we react the way we do, and so on.

Learning about all these concepts can set us free and allow us to be ever present in the moment and respond in ways that create what we want. There is no getting away from positive thinking, creates positive feeling, but, if it is done without the deeper understanding (not purposeful), then it is only short lived and we soon lose interest. With understanding comes acceptance, with acceptance comes relief, with relief comes peace and joy for living, (whether this is with difficulties or not). As difficulties cannot be erased, we just learn to deal with them differently. Obstacles help us to overcome our unhelpful patters. They allow us to change, to do things differently etc.

One fact to remember is that we cannot change other people, but, when we change, this often has an effect on them. When we learn how we can react to others differently, we learn how they might then react to us differently. Mindful awareness then helps us to pause and step back — giving us time to make our choices and respond differently.

I prefer not to focus on ‘right and wrong’ and move towards ‘helpful and unhelpful’, this way we then help ourselves to ‘see’ things differently, as we are less provoked to go into the battle of, ‘win or lose’. Also if we step back and pause, we can more easily then chose how we want to respond. Sometimes we can’t have exactly what we want now, but, if we focus on the change we want in the future and work towards this, we are making small steps to make this happen.